In 2015, after pursuing nursing for years, I finally came to the realization that nursing simply wasn’t what I wanted to do with my life. And so, once the second semester of my second year of nursing school was over, I finally called it quits on a career in nursing. I did not-so-secretly dream of becoming some type of writer or a wellness coach, but those ideas seemed a little far-fetched–especially with everyone around me telling me that my dreams were ridiculous and “idealistic” instead of realistic. Even still, I followed my heart and left school, and I didn’t look back. However, I was then faced with a big uncertainty: After years of pursuit in the medical field, what the heck was I supposed to do with my life now? How in the world was I supposed to turn those big dreams of mine into a career and make them come true?
At the time, my husband and I were a one-income household. I was living off my savings and I had no job. I’d just come out of pursuing a career that didn’t make me happy for years, so I wasn’t too willing to settle for a mediocre job that would make me unhappy. My poor husband didn’t know what to think or how to feel about my decision to leave school and to be picky about where I wanted to work. To him, it seemed I wasn’t considerate of anything but pursing my dream, but truth be told, we were both very concerned for our future. As long as we’d been together (6 years at that point) we’d both planned on me graduating from nursing school, so that I would be able to bring a nice and steady income to our household.
But life happens, and things and people change.
Blessedly, everything worked out, eventually. I remember reassuring my husband that all would be well with us even when I had no plans for my life. All I had were ideas. Try as I might, I could not let go of the idea of starting a wellness blog. The entire time I was in school, the idea was constantly on my mind. I could not shake it. The problem was choosing between nursing school, and a lifestyle of blogging, creative living, and holistic healing. Everyone wanted me to combine the two, but I hated nursing, and nothing about it appealed to me. I was on a precipice because my health was already suffering while I was in school. So I had to choose: which one meant more to me? Which one could I live without?
After struggling for months, I realized that in order for me to truly be happy and healthy, I had to let the idea of a nursing career go and live the life I truly wanted to live, because the only emotion that nursing was bringing into my life was unhappiness. I finally admitted to myself that the reasons I took that path in the first place was because nursing is a very reputable career, I could make good money, and it was something I thought I should be doing. And by putting that behind me, I was taking a chance on myself and going for the things I’d always dreamed of.
In doing so, I learned so many valuable lessons. If you find yourself in a predicament similar to mine, allow me to share with you some of the things I experienced while learning to trust myself, and go after a lifestyle I really wanted:
8 Essential Things That People Who Achieve Their Biggest Dreams Do Differently
1. They Learn From Their Past
The past doesn’t define you. You are not your past, no matter how much people try to make you out to be. Made a couple of mistakes? Good. Who in the world hasn’t? Some people are just better at hiding their mistakes than others. The fact is, you can learn a lot from your past. Your past could be used against you, or it could be used for you.
Learning the lessons of your past will serve you well on your journey. My time in nursing school was looked at as a failure from people. For a long time, I looked at it that way too. But over time, as I started disciplining myself with my diet, and started my financial business, I realized that my time in nursing school was actually a Godsend. Even though I hated going through it, I absolutely needed the discipline nursing school taught me, and the strength it wrung from me, because I was probably one of the laziest, unmotivated, most undisciplined person ever in life. But that experience in school forced me to grow up. It taught me so much about myself. Thanks to nursing school, I learned I could face sickness, death, incredible pressure, and my fears, and get through it all, all while nurturing my broken heart from my father’s passing. I learned about medications, and the anatomy of the human body and how it functions. This serves me well to this day as I help people with all kinds of health issues who are on various medications. I even still refer back to my nursing books, workbooks, and my notes when I need to. I also realized if I could go through all that and do pretty well for something I didn’t really want, I could only image the mountains I could move for a life I really did want.
2. They’re Delivered of People
You’ll never, ever be able to please everyone. You just won’t. It took a while for me to grasp that in order to successfully give my 100% to my goals I had to first be delivered of people. Even though I tried to pretend like it wasn’t true, I knew one of my biggest flaws was that I cared way too much about other people and what they thought. It was causing much of my unhappiness. Once you decide to follow your heart or purpose in life, the enemy will try his hardest to sway you from it. He knows that once you make the decision to fulfill your purpose, especially if you’re operating in the Spirit and doing things the Godly way, his kingdom is in trouble. So if he knows your weakness is what people think then you better believe he’s going to use that against you. He’ll speak through people. “Are you nuts?!” is one of the questions you may get a lot from people who mean the most to you and who you trust the most. It is the enemy’s job to keep you off track and he’ll spare no resource to do just that. No matter what choice you make in life, people are going to have something to say about it. So, what does a former people-pleaser like me have to do?
You have to learn to let ’em keep talking and making their assumptions.
What people say and think about you doesn’t define you. Following your heart takes courage. It takes grit and guts. And you need to be on your side while you’re in pursuit of your purpose/passion, because all too often, most dream-chasers find themselves as their own sole cheerleaders in the beginning of their journeys. You must learn to take care of yourself, love You unconditionally, and fill spirit with the word of God while walking your own path in life, because the enemy absolutely will use people to try to keep you from your purpose. Your emotions will constantly be on an unstable merry-go-round if they’re based on people and what they think. People can like and admire you one day, but as soon as you do something they don’t like or understand then their favor can quickly turn sour the next day. So you have to get delivered from people. When you make the decision to live for yourself and take your happiness into your own hands, people aren’t going to like it very much. People won’t understand and they’ll try to talk you out of it. Remain rooted in your truth. You are not called to carry out the will of your family and other people in your life.
3. They Understand The Path to Greatness Can Be Lonely At Times
Following your heart can lead you to a lonely place. People who you thought were in your corner may bail when you’re low or at a turning point in your life. Though this can hurt, it isn’t a bad thing. I have learned when you’re going through a period of loneliness while you’re trying to sort things out, it is the perfect time to connect or re-connect with God.
During my period of loneliness I felt like no one understood where I was coming from. I felt like there was no one I could really connect with. There wasn’t really anyone around (that I knew of) who were trying to do the same things I was trying to do. My goals in life had changed, and my lifestyle–especially my healthy lifestyle–wasn’t really popular with the people who were in my life. This is why it’s important to surround yourself with people who have the same goals as you. In nursing school, that was pretty much built in. But when I left school, I lost all of that. I was on my own. This led me to a lonely state sometimes.
Successful people know that during this time, there may be hundreds of things that need to get done. This is one of the enemy’s greatest tricks to keep you from seeking and connecting to God. When you begin to seek God, the enemy is coming too. He’ll speak to your mind, telling you there are so many things you need to get done. You may find it hard to sit still and be alone. Your mind is going to want to stay busy, especially when you know it’s time for you to pray. But you have to practice sitting in silence. The enemy will try to keep you busiest and on the go during the time when you need to be still and connect with God the most. This is why it’s good to be lonely sometimes. Fill that void with the Word of God. You cannot successfully do this journey without the Lord leading you through it.
When you’re living your life for God, He’ll always lead you. You’ll never be alone. The enemy can use people and things to distract you, and hold you back from your true purpose and your blessings in life. Seeking God will give you the kind of experience that will strengthen you, and lead you straight to those blessings, as long as you’re seeking Him during your loneliest times.
4. They’re Not Afraid To Be Selfish
Sometimes you may hurt people with your decisions. That’s unavoidable. When you learn the balance of caring for others, but allowing yourself to come first at times, it happens. You’ll be deemed as selfish. And in a way you will be. But it’s a healthy selfish. You have to come first at times. It’s necessary for a happier, more fulfilling life. No matter what anyone says, unless it’s deliberately and cruelly hurting someone, there’s nothing wrong with wanting what you want and going after it. People forget you have a right to live your life the way you want. Because you matter. What you want in life matters. This is especially true for us women. We’re naturally the caregivers. We naturally tend to look out for everyone else, oftentimes leaving ourselves last. Sometimes that can’t be helped. But there are times where you must come first. If you don’t allow yourself to be happy and do what’s best for you, you’ll be no good to anyone. You are here to serve, and you cannot serve others–at least not well–from an empty vessel. Sometimes you must be selfish in order to take care of you.
5. They Shake Rejection Off
This one was hard for me. Rejection in some form probably will occur. Usually, following your heart means going against the grain. You’ll be stepping outside the norm, and people won’t understand that. They may talk bad about you. They may treat you differently and look at you differently, and at times they may even be looking for you to fail. But, even though it’s human nature to give into rejection and begin to question your self-worth, successful people who achieve their dreams don’t give into rejection, and you mustn’t either. You can’t give people that much power over you, because you can’t give up on your dreams. Where people reject you, God will take you into His spiritual arms if you seek Him. Just because people reject you, your ideas, or your view on life doesn’t mean you have to become rejected. What I mean by that is, just because what you’re doing may not be popular with people doesn’t mean you should lose sight of your worth as a person. You and your opinions may not be popular for a while, especially among the people you associate yourself with the most. It happens. But be very careful not to allow that hurt to cause you to become wounded and closed-off.
6. They Surround Themselves With Like-Minded, Or Smarter People
People who accomplish things know that they can’t get everything done alone. Following your dreams is an arduous journey, and you’re going to need support. Quite often you can be your only cheerleader in your journey. You can’t go on that way forever. Eventually, you’re going to need motivation outside of yourself, you’re going to need to learn skills that you may not have, and you’re going to need someone to push you to continue when you feel like giving up. Surrounding themselves with people who value the same things as they do is what keeps successful people motivated and uplifted.
They also surround themselves among people who are doing better than them, because they know they can learn from them. It is these type of people who help elevate. They push you to your next level, and make you believe in yourself to work harder and go after goals that seem daunting, until they’ve been accomplished.
7. Their Guard Is Up Against Pride
People who reach their goals could struggle with pride along the way. I definitely did. The desire to be right, especially when the world thinks you’re wrong is a difficult force to go against, especially when you feel you have something to prove. But one thing you must learn to do on the journey to a better You is check your pride. Examine your motives. If the only things that motivate you are proving others wrong and/or making money, you won’t get very far. People who reach their goals and maintain them know that having a prideful attitude and heart is not worth their future or their soul. Pride can lead you straight into a brick wall or worse. I’ve learned while it may be hard in the beginning to listen to anyone when sound advice is given to you, sometimes, taking other people’s advice (after discerning if you should of course) can a lot of times really help you. God does not like pride, and this is why dealing with your pride is so important. If you’re too prideful, there won’t be any room for improvement or for God. And we all need help in our journeys. Don’t cheat yourself out of great advice that’ll help you on your journey by letting your pride get in the way.
8. They Forgive Others And Move On
Everyone who is successful in their goals have suffered some type of backlash from people. In this walk, I’ve learned one of the most important lessons of all: forgiving those who hurt you when you decided to be true to you. This one sets your heart free. While following my heart, I got a lot of heat for doing so. No one understood. Over time, I had to learn that even though people can be intrusive and clueless, the ones who love you usually only want what’s best for you. That realization alone was freeing. Though what’s best for you is for you to determine, the ones who are meant to be in your life will accept that, and support you. When you forgive all the hurt and pain that can come with following your own path in life, it brings you closer to God, and to the people who are meant to be in your life. It brings you peace.
It also gives you an armor against attacks from other haters, because sometimes people will hurt you intentionally. Successful people know that even though slander may hurt, not everyone is worth their time. They distance themselves from these type of people, continue on their journey to greatness, and that’s the best revenge (though they don’t actively seek revenge). Even though it’s not easy, when you walk in love, it automatically draws people in and furthers your purpose in life.
Truth of the matter is, the world needs the gift that God placed inside of you. You are destined to share it and bless others with it. Don’t be afraid to listen to that nagging voice on the inside that’s telling you to step out on faith. If the thought is terrifying but exciting at the same time, it’s a pretty safe bet that’s the path you’re meant to be on. It’s probably the path that’s going to make you grow the most.
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