Learn how to slow down, in ALL the ways.

We all deal with some form of stress every day. Work, family issues, health concerns, and financial obligations are parts of everyday life that commonly contribute to stress. When it comes to stress, there’s one thing all experts can agree on and it’s this: too much of it is not a good thing.

Stress is inescapable in life, but it is manageable. There are many different approaches to dealing with stress. Because everybody’s different and comes from different walks of life, we’re not all dealing with the same kinds of stress, or even the same amount of stress. The Anxiety and Depression Association of America gives some really great tips on how to cope with stress, as well as some great resources dealing with stress and anxiety and where to find professional help.

I’ve been there for years, so I know all too well how damaging stress can be to your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health. I also know how wonderful and freeing it feels when you learn how to deal with stress in a healthy way, and overcome it. So in this post, I’m sharing with you doable and valuable life skills and steps anyone can take to overcome everyday stress.

Oftentimes, we get used to living the way that we have. As the years go by, we can actually find ourselves clinging to the pain, to the stress, and when the time or opportunity comes to let it go, we hesitate. That’s because this way of living is familiar to us. It’s what we know. Anything that challenges us to begin thinking in a way that encourages change and growth is going to take courage and work, both of which we’re all capable of. It’s just easier to play the victim, to stay still because change is scary. We have no idea where change can lead us. The truth is, our comfort zones can rob us just as much as stress can.

But remember, “For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.” James 2:26.

Faith without works is dead. It’s going to require work in order to change your way of thinking to a positive one and most of the time, that’s not very appealing. But it’s going to be so worth it. It will take time, but don’t let that deter you. I only tell you this so you won’t get disappointed when you’re not 100% better in a month or three or even 6. When you’ve gone full speed ahead in your unfulfilling lifestyle or negative thoughts and negative self-talk for years, it’s going to take practice and time to undo what you’ve done to yourself. But once you get the hang of thinking positively, you’ll begin believing in yourself and treating yourself better. And nothing will impossible for you.

Stress: My Story

Funnily enough, as I was writing this blog post, I realized that I’ve been going through a particularly stressful time these days.

My husband was recently in the hospital for an injury that the hospital caused. Day after day, night after night, Travis and I sat in that hospital room prayerful and faithful, but still very much concerned about the events that were taking place. I got to see my husband in enough pain that nearly brought him to tears each and every night he was there. It was so hard, as I sat by his bedside every day, every night, and feel so helpless. Blessedly, he got well enough to the point where he was released from the hospital, only for us to arrive home and realize that our quality of life has been altered because he needs me to physically take care of him.

I still work full-time and it requires me to do a lot of driving, and, with the increase of gas prices these days, it seems that my job costs me more than I actually bring home.

I’ve recently decided to pursue higher education, which adds more things to do to my already over-flowing schedule.

Oh, yeah. Stress has not escaped the Hill household.

I’m thankful that all of this has been happening in our lives, though, because it makes this post very relatable. Because a few days ago, I was really down in the dumps as everything I’d been dealing with hit me and I became depressed. It took a little time for me to come back around, but I did, and it’s largely thanks to the following steps and life skills that I learned from my therapist years ago. I realized that I knew how to handle all that I had to juggle in a healthy way.

Here are some doable steps you can begin taking today to manage stress in your life.

Don’t worry about doing all these things at once. Identify one goal here that’s more pressing in your life and focus on that step for a week or two until you’re ready to move on to another step. If you can juggle more than one, then that’s OK too. Just be kind to yourself while doing these things. You’re not going to be a pro at first. Give yourself time and room to mess up.

Give Yourself Permission To Feel the Way You Feel

Don’t run from how you’re feeling. That’s called denial.

Instead, admit to yourself how you’re feeling. If you’re overwhelmed with stress at the moment, then wallow for a little while if you need to. Not all of us have a great support system, and sometimes, wallowing feels good. It’s comforting. Give yourself a day. If you can’t afford to do that because you lack the time, then find time to give to yourself. It’s important. Cry. Vent to a friend. Write your feelings out. Just let it out. Unburden yourself. This is a HUGE stress reliever. You don’t have to act like everything is fine, because it may not be. Sometimes you just don’t be in the mood to try to act chipper. The effort in trying to go on like everything’s ok can be too much.

Wallowing a little bit can feel good as you give yourself some time to feel what you’re feeling, but don’t get stuck wallowing, because you have 2 new life skills to practice that is going to help you, and these skills are positive self-talk and caring for yourself.

This is what my positive self-talk looked like a few days ago: “Ok, it’s official–I. Am. STRESSED out! I feel so overwhelmed right now! But I know that it’s ok to feel this way. I’m going through a lot right now, so it comes with the territory. So, alright. I’m going to wallow a little–only a little because it feels good feeling sorry for myself right now, and then I’m going to try to pep myself up. I’m going to watch something funny, and just chill for the rest of the day and go to bed early. I’ll try todaying again tomorrow.”

Laughter Is The Best Cure

Now, there are cases when positive self-talk just doesn’t work. That certainly was the case for me that day. When Travis saw that none of his supportive, positive, uplifting words were penetrating my dark mood, he switched tactics and tried laughter instead. And it worked. Once he put on one of my favorite tv shows, “Frasier,” within minutes I began laughing and feeling better. I even forgot about my troubles at that time. Afterward, I even had a new attitude about finishing up the rest of my day and tackling the unappealing tasks that loomed over me. It’s like the laughter gave me a second wind. Laughter really is great medicine when you’re dealing with stress. Give it a try.

Develop a Relationship With God

Though it’s listed third, this is number 1 on the list. God will deliver you from anxiety and stress. And how does He do that?

Through His Word.

The Bible is rich with scriptures AKA instructions of how to change You from the inside out. Matthew 11:28 says: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” This is so true. When you surrender to Him, all of your problems won’t go away, but He’ll strengthen you to be able to fight the spirits of fear, stress, and anxiety with the scriptures. These spirits are no match against the Word of God. Try it and see. Find scriptures that speak about stress and see what they say. Speak them against the stress in your life. It may feel odd at first if you’re new to this, and that’s OK. The more you do it, the more it’ll become second nature to you.

Have you ever tried any of the self-help experts’ advice on stress management, or read their books, took their courses, watched their videos, fasted and prayed, and still you’re bombarded with stress? Wanna know why that is? Here’s a scripture that explains it:

Do not be conformed to the things of this world, but be thou transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2 NIV.

It’s your mind. Once you renew your mind frame, nothing can stop you. Once you get even the smallest grip over your mind that you’re going to begin handling stress better, that you’re going to take the things you learn in the books, the courses, the blog posts and begin applying them to your life, then things will begin to change. Because you’ve then renewed your mind frame from what it was before, making what God wants for you–healing, courage, peace, a sound and stable mind, love, joy–possible for you. 2Timothy 1:7

You have to realize that you have more control over yourself, over your mind, the thoughts you entertain, and over your situation than you think you do. There’s always something you can do to begin changing your situation, even if those only things are fasting, praying, and reading the Bible. These are actually the most important things you should begin doing.

Whenever you find yourself in a stressful situation, here’s a humble yet effective prayer that I like to pray:

“Heavenly Father,

I need your help.

I come to you as I am in this moment. I can’t hide anything from you, Lord, you already know how I feel right now. Lord, I am stressed out. I admit that. I am dealing with *insert whatever it is you’re feeling or going through here; Just be real and honest*

Your Word says in Matthew 11:28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Father, give me rest. Help me to lay all my problems at Your feet so you can work them out for me. I struggle with this. I’m not very good at not stressing. But Your Word tells me in Psalms 34:17 Father that if I should cry out to you for help you will hear me from Heaven and come to my aid and deliver me from my troubles.

So thank you for being with me, Lord during this trying time. Thank you for delivering me and healing my mind from stress and anxiety. In Jesus’s mighty name, Amen.

Pay Attention To Your Body

Your body responds to stress. Begin making a conscious effort to notice the parts of your body that usually tenses up when you’re stressed.

Identify where you carry tension. Some common areas of the body where people carry stress are at the nape of their necks and between their shoulder blades. Tune into your body right now. Are your shoulders tense? Relax them. It’s ok, it’s supposed to feel weird at first. We get so used to tensing our muscles that relaxing them is no longer second nature. It won’t be that way forever. The more you practice relaxing your body, it’ll become second nature to you again.

Another common area of the body where stress is stored is in your belly. Ladies, this is especially important if you’re dealing with fibroids. Tune in to your body right now. Is your abdomen tense? This can cause your gut to spasm and cause constipation. Untighten your gut and take deep breaths. Tune into your belly area throughout the day to see if it’s tense. If it is, relax in that area.

What about your breathing? Is it shallow, or are you taking deeper breaths to get more oxygen into your body? Most of us–myself included–tend to take shallow breaths as we go about our daily lives. We only use the top parts of our lungs to breathe instead of our full lungs–meaning taking a deep breath, filling up the bottom of our lungs first, and then eventually getting to the top part. Word of caution: take it easy with these breaths, because too many of them can make you dizzy. Just tune into yourself and practice deep breathing for about 60 seconds throughout the day.

Delegate or Let Go

One of the major causes of stress is that we’re juggling too much.

Most of the time we just have too much on our plates to function optimally. It is our very tasks in life that are stressing us out. In this case, you need to take a good hard look at your life and determine if there are some things you can delegate such as hiring someone to be in charge of your social media, or something you can change or let go of, such as requesting a schedule change at work. Doing so can take a huge burden off you and give you some room to breathe, which is important to your health.

You’ll feel so much better once you give up control of the universe. You simply cannot do everything for everyone. If you feel yourself stressing to the point where you can barely function, it’s time to take some things off you and let others handle them. Focus on yourself for a while. It’s OK to do this. Take a break–a weekend trip somewhere just to get away if you need to, and put someone else who’s capable in charge of a task that you’re juggling. Learn to ask for help.

If you have no one to help you with any of the things you’re juggling, then it’s time to make some executive decisions. You are the CEO of your life, so be a good one. Really think about the following questions and be brutally honest with yourself:

• Is this really my responsibility?

• Am I trying to do too much?

• Is this MY goal?

If your answer is yes to any of these questions, that’s fine, but you need to find time for yourself. Chances are you probably aren’t sleeping very well, and that’s a whole problem within itself. If you can’t delegate at this time in your life, then start considering what you can afford to let go of or place on the back burner for the time being. I started my own tax preparation company, SN Hill Financial three years ago. But over time, I began to run myself ragged in trying to run that company PLUS blog for Sandrell’s Natural World, post on my YouTube channel, work full-time, be present in my family, among other things I had going on. It was just way too much. So, I followed this very step of delegating or eliminating and concluded that I needed to focus on just one thing right now, and that’s my health and wellness ministry. So, I placed SN Hill Financial on the backburner for now with plans to go back to it in the future. Doing so really took a weight off me and my time.

You must do the same for yourself. What’s something in your life that you can afford to delegate to someone else? If you can’t afford to hire help or even to delegate a task to someone else, then what can you afford to alter or let go, even if it’s just for a season? Really think about this and then make some changes.

Seek a good Therapist

Don’t let this one intimidate you. Therapy doesn’t make you weak. Exactly the opposite, seeking help is one of the strongest, bravest steps you can take to caring for yourself.

Finding and seeing a good therapist, like journaling, will help you unlock and unload all that heaviness that you’ve been carrying around for years. This is especially true for times such as these. Since the COVID-19 pandemic, hundreds of thousands of people have turned to therapy to help them with grief over losing loved ones to COVID, being in isolation from others, and just dealing with all the world events that have happened in the midst of COVID. It’s very much needed, now more than ever.

Choose your therapist wisely. Shop around. If at any time during the session you know that the therapist isn’t the one for you, then stop seeing them and find another one. Pray to God for the spirit of discernment to help you find one that’s just right for you. Quite often having a therapist can literally help save a life, so if you’re toying around with the thought of getting therapy, then that’s probably a sign that it’s time to get one.

Eat And Exercise to Minimize Stress, Anxiety, and Depression

Oh, come on, you knew this one was coming.😊

It’s becoming common knowledge that our diets affect us in more ways than one. You are indeed what you eat. If you’re already stressed out and you’re still scarfing down Micky D’s on your lunch break every day, then chances are not only are you going to feel worse mentally and emotionally, but you’re going to feel worse physically too.

My therapist often told the story of how her son had ADHD, and he was pretty hyperactive. When she and her husband made the connection between their son’s behavior and sugar (which was making him behave a lot worse) they chose not to medicate him but opted instead to keep him off as much sugar as possible, and it made a significant difference in their son’s behavior.

I cannot stress this enough: a healthy diet and proper nutrition go a long way in helping stress. I know whereof I speak (or type) because I’ve lived this. I’ve experienced this for years, and I’ve coached other women who experienced the same thing. When you eat good you feel good. How great do you feel after drinking a smoothie that you actually made, with no added sugar? How energetic are you? Now, compare to how sluggish and blah you feel after eating fast food. There’s a huge difference, and whether you notice or not, your mood is definitely affected by the food you eat.

Start today. I have plenty of free resources that will help you to get started. Click here to download my freebie ebook that’s called: Health & Wellness, Where to Start. This website is loaded with healthy information, resources, and lifestyle tips for those who are just starting out. Visit my YouTube channel where I post easy, delicious recipes or good places to eat if you don’t feel like cooking. I aim to help and inspire you to begin making healthier changes in your life toward a better You.

Outside of that, when was the last time you went to the doctor? If you’ve been recently, what kind of news did you receive from them? If the news was unpleasant–especially ladies with fibroids–what are you going to do about it? I challenge you to begin eating and exercising to take better care of yourself.

How much sugar did you have today? Wine or other sugary beverage? Caffeine? I know that everywhere we look online these days, coffee is being presented as the morning beverage to have, but I challenge you to see beyond this trend. Caffeine in coffee is extremely addictive and it wires you like nothing else. Try roasted dandelion tea instead. A friend of mine who is addicted to coffee found this gem of a life hack and hasn’t gone back to coffee since. Same taste as coffee, only much, much healthier for you.

Begin an exercise routine. Schedule it in writing, and stick to it, so each day when you cross that off your to-do list, you’ll feel that much more accomplished. Due to my faith, I don’t recommend Yoga at all, but there’s nothing wrong with stretching your body to get all the kinks out. Go for a brisk walk, go biking, skating, swimming, dance, sing, jog, go to a gym. These are all great stress relievers and much-needed to get those endorphins going through your system to help knock out that stress. I’m not perfect in this area myself, but I am making strides to do better too.

We are valuable, so we must take good care of ourselves.

Show Yourself Some Compassion

Chronic stress is one of those addictive bad habits that we picked up along the way, and have been carrying around for years, sometimes decades. Breaking that bad habit is absolutely something we can do, but it probably won’t be done overnight.

Remember, recovery is a gradual process. Progress is different for everyone, and it cannot be rushed. In fact, when you begin to work on yourself and use these life skills, the process of doing so can bring about more stress and anxiety than ever before! That’s OK. Growing pains and anxiety that come from maturing and evolving are part of the process. Don’t run from it. Embrace it. And be good to and patient with yourself as you face your fears and confront your demons. Speak kindly–and honestly–to yourself and boost your self-esteem. You can do this. You absolutely are capable of change. It may take a while, but it WILL happen for you. Take care of yourself during this time. Really love on yourself. If you make a mistake, good! Mistakes mean you’re trying and learning. If you weren’t making mistakes, I’d be concerned. You’re going to need Yourself throughout this journey and after you win it, so get used to showing yourself some extra loving. And this is the perfect time to develop that within yourself.

Here’s your homework:

• Begin journaling. As you write, it will unlock things that are hidden deeply within you that need to be addressed and healed. This is how I realized back in 2016 that even though I was still a newlywed, I was unhappy because my relationship with myself sucked, which caused me to feel as if a big piece of me was missing. If you hate writing, then use the voice recorder on your phone and begin speaking your thoughts so it can translate your voice into words in your notepad app.

• Begin to notice personality traits that encourage stress. What are your personality characteristics? Identify them so you can understand how stress these characteristics against you. For instance, if you’re sensitive, like me then that’s a great thing! Your sensitivity enables you have an understanding about people and come up with great ideas to help them. However, if you’re someone who speaks and thinks negatively to and about yourself all day, then you turn your wonderful sensitive nature against you, and in doing so, you begin to feel 10 times worse about yourself than someone who isn’t as sensitive as you are.

• Slow down in all the ways. Are you someone who walks fast, talk fast, move fast, impatient, and always in a hurry? Catch yourself and slow down. Whenever you find yourself walking fast, slow down a little. Practice living in and enjoy the moment. Take a leisurely stroll outside, and do not rush. Are you a speedy driver? Leave the house earlier and enjoy the ride to your destination. Listen to something soothing in the car, instead of something that’s going to hype you up (if you’re dealing with stress overload, trust me–you’re hype enough). Fast talker? Catch yourself and slow your speech. Whoever’s listening can wait until you finish your sentence. Just begin slowing down in every way that you can. This helps to slow your heart rate, your breathing, your mind, and minimizes stress.

• Begin to identify what is it about your life you don’t like right now so you can begin to make steps to changing it. I know all too well how scary this is. When I was really going through with stress, I sought help for stress management and depression, because I knew I couldn’t continue to live my life that way anymore. When I found this amazing therapist, she challenged me with this very step and I almost immediately ran away from it. But, eventually I came to my senses because the stress I was dealing with was crushing and I just couldn’t take living with it anymore. And I’m so glad I did, because the inner peace that I have now and satisfaction with where my life is going is truly priceless. Now, I challenge you to heal by pinpointing things about you and your life that you’d like to change. What can you do to change your situation? What necessary, achievable first steps can you begin to take to start digging yourself out of the dark pit that you’re in right now?

• DO NOT turn to drugs (including marijuana and edibles) and alcohol, and if you have, begin making the necessary steps to become unaddicted. People laugh at me whenever I tell them how I was addicted to weed in the past and warn them against it. Marijuana and edibles may not be as life-ruining as other drugs out there, but they can definitely hinder you and your progress in life. If at any time in your life you feel that you cannot become de-stressed unless you smoke a joint or eat an edible, then that substance has control over you and that points to an underlying problem. You may not realize it, but relying on these things to relax is a form of avoidance. For myself and most people, it’s a way to leave reality behind. That’s not necessarily a bad thing to want to do that–we all need some form of fun and distraction from life. But, there are healthier and more productive ways to do that. Ways that further strengthen you when faced with life’s hardships. Relying on drugs and alcohol weakens you financially, mentally, physically, emotionally, and causes you to avoid growing in an areas that you may be running away from. This habit may seem innocent, but don’t fall into the trap.

If you know you help dealing with stress and you know you’re not happy in your thoughts don’t delay anymore. Start practicing self-care today with these life skills. They really work. No one can take care of you and love you like You, so don’t put off caring for yourself and dealing with stress in a healthy way.