Like many people, I grew up in church. Also like many people, I had no choice in that matter.
My parents–namely my dad–were devout Christians who made sure their children knew the Word of God. Though I complained about being forced to attend church every Sunday, looking back it really wasn’t that bad. No matter how disgruntled I was about being forced to miss my favorite Sunday shows, like Ren & Stimpy and Sweet Valley High, I couldn’t help but perk up when I witnessed the church choir marching into the sanctuary with their first song. Watching the choir march into church in a perfect line, and eventually gather in the choir stand was really something to behold. After that spectacular sight, the song selections would just continue to lift my spirit, and by the time the pastor got up to give us the word, I was actually genuinely glad to be there.
Like a lot of kids at church however, once the pastor got up to speak, I could be counted on to doze off, get restless, or reach for my trusty “church kit,” which was a church survivor pack of snacks, and activities such as coloring books, writing pads, and my beloved Game Boy to get me thorough the hours I knew I was in for. As an eight-year old, it felt like we were in church for an eternity, as I wasn’t really interested in what the pastor had to say.
My father–the main reason I had to spend so much time in church–would try to explain things to me on my level. I understood that God was good and Satan was bad. Thanks to the Hanna-Barbera’s video tapes of biblical cartoons my Mom gave my siblings and I to enjoy, I understood quite a few lessons in the Bible too. At the age of 9 I understood the consequences of disobeying God’s order when given, as learned by Jonah and his resulting encounter with the great fish. I understood there were big consequences to being foolish and trusting the wrong people as learned by Samson placing his trust in Delilah, resulting in his downfall. And from perhaps one of my favorite stories in the Bible, I learned how God reveals things to us via our dreams by the story of Joseph and his family. And because Joseph had his father’s favor, he incurred the wrath of his jealous brothers, resulting in them selling him into slavery, all leading up to Joseph eventually saving an entire nation that included his father and his jealous brothers, all of which, Joseph saw in a dream when he was much younger.
So, getting back to understanding a Christian lifestyle. I was around eleven or twelve years old when I really began to listen to what the pastor had to say. Even though I was young, I always cared about the overall message of church: Be Good. It was around this time I got saved… for the first time. Enthralled with living right, I just wanted so badly to be good. And man, did I try to be good. I tried being quiet all the time in class instead of being my usual talkative, unruly self. I tried watching the words that would come out of my mouth, as I was at that age when I was experimenting with swearing. I tried not to tell people off when they would make me mad. I tried not to be peer-pressured into certain types of behaviors that weren’t considered good. I tried not to get mad, I tried not to think of anything that wasn’t pure, I tried to think good things about people all the time–even if I didn’t like them.
In other words, I tried to be perfect, which I, nor anyone else in this world could ever be.
It got to the point where I came to the conclusion that I just couldn’t live a saved lifestyle. There was just way too much pressure to do so. You see, I equated being saved with being perfect, because that’s pretty much how the church taught it. I was sort-of taught that in order to remain saved, I couldn’t do anything bad. If a curse word flew out my mouth, or if I did anything, said anything, or thought anything un-Godly then I was no longer saved, and I had to repeant and come to the altar and get re-saved all over again. It was because of this “rule” that I learned at church that I was saved a minimum of 2,000 times, because according to the church, every time I screwed up, or was a human being, I wasn’t saved anymore.
Besides ordinary “human things” we all do such as taking a while to forgive others, there were also things I personally struggled with, such as my potty mouth. I’d pretty much used the F-Bomb as a noun, pronoun, and adjective for a couple of years at that point, and there was just no way I was able to stop doing that cold-turkey, short of God yanking that away from me, spiritually.
The way I saw it, there were just too many things that weren’t of the Lord and I simply couldn’t commit to that kind of lifestyle, especially at such a young age. I came to the believe that being saved was for grown people who were mature enough to handle it.
I just didn’t really understand how being a Christian worked. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around the concept. How was I supposed to behave? When I did something bad–sometimes on purpose–was I just supposed to say, “My bad, God, I’m sorry. We’re cool?” Was apologizing to God after doing bad things repenting? If so, how many chances did I have before God totally washed his hands of me? There were just some things that I tried my best to stop doing, but I just wasn’t able to do, so the way I saw it, I was going to be in the altar call line every Sunday for the rest of my life to remain saved.
I was so overwhelmed and confused about it all. I wouldn’t participate in church communion because I thought in order to participate in communion, you really had to have the saved thing down, and though I tried my best, according to the teachings of the church, I just didn’t think I did. There were a couple of things I’d ask my parents to clarify, but once they did, I’d wind up more confused than ever. Eventually, I just made up my mind to be a kid, and not concern myself with being saved until I became an adult.
So, here I am, an adult. And I’m just now beginning to get the whole Christian walk down.
For years, I turned my back on God. I renounced anything to do with him, including his very existence and his Word. I’d lived saved before, and it was just too hard to do back then. I didn’t wanna be saved. I wanted to be fun and free. I didn’t wanna have to answer to anyone. I was perfectly comfortable believing there was no Jesus, and we were all here just to be here, not hurt each other, and love one another. I didn’t wanna spread his word, tell people about him and lived saved, because then I wouldn’t be that much fun to be around anymore. I’d be seen as high and mighty, hoity-toity, nose-in-the-air, judgy, and perfect. Being saved would repel people from me. I didn’t wanna live by God’s high standards. For years I ran from God. And He haunted me the entire time.
One rule of being saved means you’re going to have to be delivered of people. What people think and say about you means nothing as a child of God. An important foundation to being saved is accepting there are rules to being saved or a born-again Christian. God has standards. We can’t just create our own rules to salvation. There are things in us that must die in order to become who God–and the world–needs us to be in order to be of service the way He, not we, intended.
When I rededicated my life back to God, there were definitely times where it seemed that I’ve picked right back up where I left off as a child, as far as the rules of being saved. So I searched for those answers. And I’ve learned some very freeing and valuable things. As a little girl, I simply was ignorant of the rules and the lifestyle of salvation, but as an adult, now that I understand how to live saved, I’m committed.
Here are some of the valuable things I’ve learned about committing your life to God.
Being Saved Doesn’t Mean You Have To Be Perfect.
This was a huge boulder off my shoulders. There’s no way you could ever be perfect. Ever. I lose my temper. Sometimes the things that come out of my mouth I immediately regret and have to ask God to forgive me for them. And there are things we all struggle with, such as pride, homosexuality, lust, bitterness, the list goes on. I’ll always struggle with something, and so will you, even with us being saved.
We humans are three parts: A body, a spirit, and a soul. When we get saved, it is our spirit that gets saved and gets closer to Christ. But our soul–that is our will, our intellect, our emotions, our desires, that part of us remains unsaved. And that’s the part of us that we struggle with. Our old desires and old habits. We all have struggles. Whatever those struggles, this will be the very things we will pray against and have to work extra hard not to allow ourselves to be ruled by our souls.
God understands we can’t be Him. We are indeed born into sin. It is not in our nature to be perfect–Adam and Eve, the very first humans taught us that. If we were perfect, we wouldn’t need God for anything. He allows us to always struggle with something in our lives, because that way we’ll always depend on him, and we continue to grow spiritually. In this life, you will mess up. It’s up to you though, to make things right when you do, sometimes with the people in your life, and always with God.
Let’s say you were involved with a huge blow-up with your family. Tempers flared, emotions got the best of everyone, and you all parted ways and haven’t spoken to each other for years. If you can’t forgive people, especially your own family, then God can’t forgive you. See? In this situation, you weren’t perfect. You’re human, things happen. Once you realize your errors in this situation, ask God’s forgiveness for the unforgiveness you still have in your heart, and go and make it right with your family, even if they don’t forgive you. You do what’s right for you. That’s an example of repenting. Repenting means you realize you made mistakes or were wrong and any given situation, and after asking God’s forgiveness, you go and right those wrongs, and make a commitment to turn away from (or at least try) those destructive behaviors. If you’re unable to right the wrongs, sometimes repenting just means apologizing to God for your actions and just asking him for his forgiveness. You may repeat the offenses, you may not. As long as you genuinely want to do good and be better, that’s all God cares about. God’s not looking for perfection. He’s looking for a heart that loves him, and is striving for perfection, meaning you’re willing to continue to work on yourself, according to his word, to become better and closer to the You he created you to be.
Living As A Christian Doesn’t Mean You Have To Be Docile
When I was a kid, I thought being saved meant you had to be quiet, meek, and timid. I used to believe that you could get mad, but you couldn’t show it, because if you did, you weren’t “Christian-y.” While, you do have to have love for your neighbors, and it’s good practice to treat people the way you’d like to be treated, that in no way means you have to be people’s doormats. Being a Christian simply means you have to be mature enough to sometimes look over people’s immature behavior. You can still be assertive. The art is balancing assertiveness with gentleness, and a lot of us struggle with our tempers too much to be able to effectively do this. But, this doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Being assertive can also mean standing up for yourself and showing people love, even when they don’t necessarily deserve it at times.
Let’s examine that last one. Showing a person love when they don’t deserve it depends on the situation. Have you guys seen the movie, Titanic, with Kate Winslet & Leo DiCaprio? Remember how rude and condescending Billy Zane’s character was to Leo’s character, Jack? And no matter how disdainful Cal was to Jack, Jack was still a gentleman and nice to Cal? That’s a great example of showing a person love even when they don’t deserve it. It just means you’re not sinking down to the level of someone who is already beneath you in attitude and spirit. It means being above pettiness.
This can be a real struggle for a lot of people, myself included. You have to be very mindful of your pride in this situation. Your pride can put you in a very compromising position, and before you know it, you can turn into the very person who is being offensive to you. I have come to understand though, in no way does being a Christian mean that you have to let people walk all over you, simply because you have a loving, compassionate heart toward others. That goes for anyone: spouses, children, siblings, friends, ect. You’re still allowed to be assertive. Being assertive doesn’t mean exploding and cursing someone back out when someone is doing the same thing to you. Nor does it mean being “nice-sty.” That’s being aggressive. Being assertive sometimes means ignoring immature behavior by not reacting to it at all, or choosing to walk away from a potentially hostile situation instead of escalating it. I will say however, there are times when being assertive does call for a strong reaction–this just means you have the right to powerfully, yet calmly stand up for yourself when being wronged, otherwise people will walk all over you. It’s OK to get angry. It’s not OK to explode when you do. You can still be an assertive Christian, and not have to be nasty to anyone.
Being Saved Does Mean You Have To Make Some Lifestyle Changes
You can absolutely have fun as a Christian. You don’t have to be stodgy, you don’t have to be high-and-mighty, you don’t have to be holier-than-thou. If you enjoy dancing–like me–you can still dance. If you’re a music-lover, you can still love your music.
However, there are gonna be some things that you are going to have to change about you when you commit your life to God. The more you study God’s Word, the more you listen to others teach about the Word, the more it changes you. Some of the people you used to hang with, well, you’ll have less of a desire to continue to hang with them. Some of the music you once enjoyed may make you cringe when you try to listen to it after cleaning up your spirit. Some of the language you used to use, you may have to clean up. You’ll want to. You’ll probably find yourself no longer wanting to visit some of your old hangout spots. When I was a kid trying to be saved and walk with God, these were some of the very things I struggled with. As an adult the deeper the relationship I develop with God, the more I’m finding these things to happen naturally. It doesn’t seem like such a chore now to turn off a song that’s incredibly degrading to women or another song that encourages domestic violence. I’ll be honest, sometimes, especially in the beginning of your walk with God, some of these things could still be a challenge for you. Temptation never goes away. But the more of a relationship you develop with God and the more you want to please Him, you’ll find that you want to change these things, because your relationship with God is more important than surrounding yourself around people and things that could lead you off that track. God has standards for you to live by, so you’re gonna have to develop some standards of your own in order to live by His.
Living As A Christian Means Believing We All Have A Purpose
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5
I can’t help but feel like we’re all here for a reason. In church one Sunday, my pastor said we’re all here for a reason. He said we all started out as a part of God, born here on Earth for a specific reason. He said our destiny has already been set for us before we were born, and our personalities and characteristics gives us clues as to what our purpose in life is. It would’ve been great if God sent that blueprint of our purpose here with us, wouldn’t it?
My pastor said since we have free will, we can choose not to live out our live’s purposes. Pastor also warned us that just as God has a pre-destined purpose for our lives, so does the Enemy. There are both heavenly blueprints and satanic blueprints for our lives. The Enemy has a purpose for us too, according to our personalities and characteristics, because his sole purpose is to get you out of line with the destiny God has for you. So, you have to be careful, and be mindful. This is is why it’s important to arm yourself with God and his wisdom and knowledge. I didn’t know that piece of knowledge about the Enemy before, but now that I do, it helps me to further understand some of my reasons for making the mistakes I’ve made, and hopefully, it’ll help you gain a little bit of clarity too.
You Simply Can’t Please Everybody
This is one I’m getting better at, but occasionally struggle with a bit. With my people-pleasing tendencies, I tend to want to be accepted by people. I want people to like me. This is dangerous. The Enemy knows your hot spots and he will use them against you. One important lesson I’m learning, especially for me, is you simply cannot please everyone. Period. There’s always gonna be someone who gets tired of your Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram postings about how much you love God and how good he’s been to you. There will be someone who won’t like you because of how happy you seem to be. You may not be popular among people once you change your old behaviors. There will be people who hate on you because God has cleaned you up, and now you present yourself differently than you used to. You’ll have folks who’ll get mad at you because you’ve changed and don’t wanna hang out or sit with them anymore. Then there are the people who are mad at you simply because of the favor God is showering you with, all the while unaware of the hell you had to go through to get to that place of favor.
When God gets ahold of you you’ll be different. And a lot of the time this will require a different circle of friends or even family. I’m learning that if you live your life to please people and have people like you, you’re on very dangerous ground, because your emotions will constantly be out of control and unstable. Your self-worth will be tied in with people. And people change everyday. One day they like you, and can’t stand you the next. It’s impossible to live up to everyone’s standards. You simply can’t live to please people and please God at the same time. It’s gonna have to be one or the other. This is taking deep root in my heart, and I hope you gain something from it, too. So, if you want to please anyone, get passionate about pleasing God.
It’s OK To Not Know Some Things
He replied, “Because the knowledge of the secrets of the kingdom of heaven has been given to you, but not to them.” Matthew 13:11
“To me, the very least of all saints, this grace was given, to preach to the Gentiles the unfathomable riches of Christ, and to bring to light what is the administration of the mystery which for ages has been hidden in God who created all things.” Ephesians 3:9
Where did the women who Cain and Abel married come from? How was Jesus–a man–able to walk on water?
God made us very intelligent. After all, we’re made in His image. It is in our nature to want to know and understand everything. But we have to come to understand and accept that there are just some things we can’t explain. Such as why do some people see angels and some don’t. If we’re willing to accept that some people can come back from the dead in the hospital, then we should be able to accept that there are just some things that we’ll never understand. Some people get turned off from the Bible and God because there are a lot of unexplained things about them. But there’s unexplained things in all the things we know of or read. You don’t have to know, understand, or even necessarily agree with everything about the Bible as well as God’s standards, especially when you’re starting out. God will show you the way. Understand that if it’s important to God, He’ll let you know, and if God is important to you, you’ll come around.
If it’s something important that God needs you to know, trust and believe that He’ll let you know. You may not know everything, because that’s not your job. You’re not God. But it is your job to be attentive when God speaks., whether it’s in your dreams, through other people, or other ways. Be alert. God may not answer your prayers or reveal things to you right away. But keep praying and believing. He will. It is your job to keep learning and growning in Christ. Read the Bible, even if you don’t understand a lot of the things in it. This man is fantastic at breaking down the lessons of the Bible in such a simple–and funny–way a 6-year old can understand it. Surround yourself with all things of the Word so you can grow in Christ. The Enemy wants you uneducated about God and the Bible. When you don’t know your power, he can take full advantage of you. Pray for the spirit of discernment. That’s the wisdom of knowing. You’ll know innately what’s God’s way and what’s the world’s way. You already possess some discernment, but pray for the sharpening of that gift. It’ll let you know what’s right and what isn’t. It’ll allow you to see through the Enemy’s tricks. So, it’s OK to not know everything there is to know about Christianity, but it is your responsibility to not stay that way.
Living a saved lifestyle may not be easy at times, but it’s most definitely rewarding. God makes you strong and gives you purpose. And nothing is better than that.
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